


Everything's Fine

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel, X-Men (Movies), X-Men - All Media Types, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Azazel has a good side, Charles and Erik keep denying their love, Crying, Depression, Emma is blinded by love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hate Showers, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Janos and Azazel are so in love, Janos is a softy, Kidnapping, Multi, No one likes Sebastian but Emma, Presumed Dead, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Revenge, Sebastian is a Dick, Self Harm, Slow recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Unrequited Love, self hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 03:28:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6937852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all revolves around the number 1. One time, one word, one mistake, one lie and it all goes to shit. Of course, no one is ever truly fine, but nobody will ever know that. Everything is always "fine".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Learn to Hide

   Azazel sat alone at the bar, as usual, his hands wrapped for dear life around his glass. It had been a long day, and the quiet Russian just wanted some down time. The constant noise and bustling of his co-workers made his ears ring and he was always relieved when Sebastian told them they could retire. It meant he could start drowning his sorrows again in a glass of crown royal.  
   It had been two weeks now since he had last seen Janos, and he was past worrying, and had been since day two. It wasn't like him to just not come home, so when Azazel woke up that morning to a cold bed he knew something wasn't right. He took a sick day with Sebastian (to his disapproval) and spent the entire day teleporting here and there, all the places he could think of and the places he would never think of, but to no avail. Now, he was just tired. Not physically, but mentally. He stopped worrying about Janos as soon as he noticed how little everybody else worried about him. Azazel knew he was out of the loop on nearly all of Sebastian's plans, so when nobody cared about the disappearance of Janos, the demon knew he'd have to learn to live without him. Sebastian was known to kill employees if they weren't doing a good enough job. Hell, he was known to kill them for fun, too. Azazel was upset, yes, but there was nothing he could do. Sebastian was infinitely more powerful than him, especially with Emma at his side. So, he gathered himself up and continued working as usual, and kept up the draining façade of being "fine". Because as far as anyone else was concerned, that's exactly what he was. Fine. Demons don't get to have feelings, especially those of hurt, love and loss.  
   Azazel drank the last of his whiskey and stared down into the empty glass. Empty. Azazel chuckled. _Just like him,_ he thought. The bartender came over and offered him a refill, but Azazel slowly shook his head. Four glasses was enough for tonight, otherwise he'd have a hangover tomorrow morning. Then they'd ask questions about why he was drinking, and they'd realize just how _not_ fine he was. And that couldn't happen. He slid a handful of crumpled bills to the slim bartender, a little extra to keep him quiet and disappeared in a thin veil of red smoke.

His room was bleak. He usually didn't mind it so much, but now that Janos wasn't there to lighten up the place it just wasn't very appealing. Azazel was going to throw up. He teleported to the bathroom as quick as he could and ran to the nearest stall, heaving all of nothing. He hadn't eaten anything that day. Come to think of it, he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning. He just felt sick. Maybe it was the whiskey, maybe not. Deep down he knew it wasn't the whiskey, but he tried to convince himself it was as he slid down the wall of the stall, resting his head on his knees. A lone tear slid down his scarlet face and he quickly wiped it away, not wanting to admit to even himself that he was missing Janos. Needing Janos. Another tear slipped down his cheek, but he didn't wipe it away. No use, there would only be more to come. And more there was, as Azazel sat there, all by himself in the stall, silently crying to himself.  He didn't have the energy nor willpower to teleport himself back to his own room. He was just too...tired. For the better part  of 3 hours he cried, not gasping sobs of mourning man, yet not simple tears of loss. Azazel didn't know what he was anymore. Was he man? Or, was he demon? Surely demons couldn't cry, or feel but he sure as hell was doing both. He wasn't sure what time it was when he finally gripped the stall handle and unsteadily pulled himself back up, but he knew it was late, and he needed rest. Tomorrow was a big day, and it had nothing to do with work or what Sebastian wanted. He was going to search high and low for Janos, and he didn't care if Sebastian knew. The worst he could do was torture or kill him, and right now torture seemed a welcome option opposed to spending one more night alone in that cold bed. Teleporting back to his room, he was once again reminded of his lover looking at the pristine bed. Azazel always liked it messy, for in his opinion a messy bed was a comfortable bed. Janos on the other hand preferred a military stile bed, straight and wrinkle free, "as a bed should be," he'd say. Ever since his disappearance Azazel had taken to making the bed exactly as Janos would have it, in the hopes of if he returned he would return to a cozy bed. Well, cozy in his eyes.

A sharp rap on the door brought Azazel out of his daydream and back to earth. At first he thought he was imagining it, but there it was again, the urgent knocking on the door accompanied this time by his name hissed outside the door. He glanced at the clock. 2:26? For fuck sake, he'd be asleep by now on a normal night! Grumbling as to seem convincingly tired and ruffling his long black hair a little, he undid the locks on his door. Azazel rarely got any of his own space, so when he realized that this, this room was his and his only, he installed numerous locks on the door. Just in case. Of course Janos carried the only other key.

Azazel hauled open the door acting quite agitated, but then his aggression faded when he saw just who was so intent on seeing him.

"Mystique?"

The young woman stood at the door quite impatient, waiting to be asked in. With Azazel she had no qualms about being judged, so she didn't mind seeing him in her true form, lapis skin tone with a shock of blazing red hair. Azazel quickly beckoned her in with a sharp flick of his arm, and she slid in, sitting down on his bed. With anyone else he would've scowled, but the easy feeling she felt with him was mutual. They had a connection that only so-called "ugly" mutants had - the mutants that had a strange appearance that they couldn't control.

"I can see it, you know." she said, in a sad tone. Azazel was at first confused, but became more anxious as he realized she was talking about Janos.  
"What do you see?" he asked, trying to sound confused but coming off more guilty. Mystique just smiled as shook her head.  
"I know you miss him Azazel. I can sense it. And, if I can sense it, you can bet Emma does too." Mystique saw the demon start to tense up. "Now listen, there's nothing wrong with missing Janos. He did just, well, disappear. But, don't be discouraged. I still sense him. I feel his life force."  


At this Azazel felt his stomach twist. He had spent the last two weeks training himself to live without Janos, but only now does Mystique tell him that maybe his lover was still alive? He felt hurt...but relieved at the same time. He didn't know whether to trust Mystique or not. He obviously didn't think she would lie to him, but he also considered the possibility that she was wrong. After all, her sensing skills were not due to her mutation, she had no real "ability" to sense another life. She just had an uncanny knack for it, although it didn't always mean she was right. Azazel finally rid himself of the lump in his throat and decided to speak to Mystique.

"So what you're saying is...he's alive?" Mystique quickly got up and took Azazel's hand in her own, the deep blue of hers contrasting with the dark red of his. Her expression was pained.  
"Azazel, you and I both know I could be wrong. Don't get your hopes up. I'll try my best, I know how much he means to you."

With that, Mystique reached up and pecked him on his cheek, then walked silently out the door. Azazel could just barely see her shift into her "normal" form again, her red hair turning dirty blonde as she returned to her room. Azazel, in a daze, walked over to his bed and smoothed out the wrinkles where Mystique had sat, then slowly lid down himself. His mind and his expression were as blank as the ceiling above him. Her words echoed through his mind like an endless onslaught of pain.  
_Don't get your hopes up. I know how much he means to you._

Azazel laid there in utter silence, contemplating her words and the last conversation he had with Janos before he left and never returned.

_It was early, easily 6am and the two mutants were already up and awake. Janos was in the corner of the room by the wardrobe buttoning up his shirt while Azazel lounged in bed, relinquishing his day off and admiring the view from where he lay._

_"Sebastian has one helluva mission for me today. Couple of hours tracking then I've got to swoop in for the kill. I don't really like doing that kind of work you know. Makes me sick." The demon frowns at this, becomes concerned. He silently curses Sebastian, then focuses again only on Janos._  
_"Then why do you accept when Sebastian asks? Why not ask me to do it for you?" Janos scoffed and climbed on top of Azazel's chest, taking his hair and twirling it around his fingers._  
_"You do enough for me already, old man. I can handle a bit of dirty work. No guts no glory, right?"_

_Azazel still struggled with English slang, but he could often tell the meaning of it. He figured this meant something along the lines of "dirty work makes good results." He smiled and pushed Janos off of him, only because he needed to breathe and he knew Janos had to get ready or else Sebastian would be on his tail for the rest of the day. He otherwise would've loved to keep him there all day._

_"Go. You have an assignment, no? I'll see you when you return." Janos sighed as he hauled on his black slacks and blazer._  
_"You are such a tease, you know that?" he said, walking over to kiss Azazel before he left. Azazel always loved the small things, even underneath that stone cold exterior._  
_"I see you tonight, no?" Janos called over his shoulder, mocking Azazel's thick Russian accent then finally exiting the room, leaving Azazel to his thoughts._

_Azazel smiled at his luck that with his looks and personality he managed to score a person like Janos. When they had first met it was a little but iffy, but as they spent more time together and their English improved (as neither could speak each other's mother tongue) they really bonded. Having to share close quarters on multiple occasions helped too. Life was good._

That was then. In Azazel's eyes, life was not so good anymore. He rolled over in his less-than-comfortable bed and closed his eyes, desperate to sleep even and little bit before tomorrow, when he'd search all over the earth for his Janos.

Azazel did not sleep very well.


	2. Small Hope

Janos stared at the gray wall that stood between him and freedom. At nearly 2 feet thick, there was no chance his wind would help him here. He had no idea where he was, but if he were to guess it'd probably be one of Sebastian's secret dungeons that he has around the world. He could be in Budapest, Moscow, Colombia, anywhere. The thought only made him more homesick. The cell was bleak, with only a small bed and a table for furniture. To him, the table served no purpose, and would much rather have something like a book or even a pillow. Was that too much to ask? The bed was nothing more than a yoga mat over metal springs, so he just took to sleeping on the floor.  
It had been a long two weeks. It hurt to walk, it hurt to talk, and it just plain hurt to move. When he was finally allowed peace and was taken back to his cell, he would always be thrown in, and where he was thrown he would stay. It was just too painful to move anywhere else. Yesterday he had been thrown near the bed, so at least he could haul down the "yoga mat-tress" as he called it and make a pillow. They hadn't come for him yet, and wouldn't for another few hours. Two weeks ago he would've willed the time to fly, but now he just wanted it to drag on forever. He wanted it to be over. Janos vowed to himself that as soon as he found a way out, as soon as Azazel found him he would stop working for Shaw, take Azazel with him and live somewhere warm, but that possibility seemed to fade every passing day. During the first few days he would try to clean himself of the blood and other fluids, but soon after he just gave up. What point was there? There's just be more, and more, and it just eventually got too painful to move around so much. The same went for his dignity. He hadn't worn clothes in two weeks now, and at the beginning he would try and cover himself up as best he could when the guards came. He'd since stopped caring. It wasn't going to change anything.  
But the one thing that never changed was the humiliation. Every time when he'd step (or crawl as he'd taken to doing the past few days) into the room to see Shaw looking on with an evil grin, it just made him feel so low. Made him feel like he was nothing. Because that's what he was. Nothing.

"Nothing..." Janos mumbled. Every day he'd hope that that was the day his Azazel would come save him, but every day that hope waned. It was almost completely dead now. _Azazel doesn't care about you._ he thought. _He never cared about you. You were just something to pass the time._  
For hours on end, every day Janos would butcher himself with these thoughts, and today was no different. He lid there, not aware that his thoughts had become vocal as he screamed at the looming wall.  
_"You're nothing, Janos!"_  
_"He never loved you, Janos!"_  
_"No one cares about you, Janos!"_

There he stayed, for hours, screaming and crying until his voice was hoarse and he was nothing but a broken, sobbing mess. It was then that the giant cell door opened and the gruff voices of the guards pierced his ears.  
"Right, get up slut!" sad the guard whom Janos named "Cockney" after his thick accents. He wasn't so bad really, not as bad as most of the other guards. But today, Janos was not in the mood to comply. Of course he knew that it would only be worse if he didn't, but he didn't care. He'd do anything not to go with Sebastian.

"Oh god, _oh god,_ please, no, I don't want to, not today, not today, _please!_ "  
Cockney paid no attention to Janos's pleas and simply grabbed his arm tighter when he backed up against the wall, swearing and begging for one day of solitude.  
"Don't make me make this any harder than it has to be now, love." Janos thought he was going to be sick. He hated being called "love" by anyone other than Azazel.  
"I'm not your 'love', asshole." Janos spit in the face of the guard who held his arm and he promptly let go, but then quickly fastened his hand around the neck of the young mutant. Janos could barely breathe, he could feel his face start to heat up as he was dragged up the wall, the concrete ripping the skin on his back. It stung like hell.  
"So you wanna play it that way, huh? That's fine by me." The guard loosened his grip on Janos's throat to his relief, but then took both hands and grabbed his shoulders, pushing him down to his knees.  
Panic rose in Janos's throat. He couldn't think except to think how stupid he was for fighting. _You knew! You knew you fucking idiot that it would get worse!_ Janos couldn't stop the tears that were flowing down his face as he realized what was about to happen. It was a heat of the moment thing, and he was ashamed to say it wasn't the first time someone forced them self on him in the past 2 weeks, but he still hated it. It never got any easier. Janos's thoughts were cut short by the unzipping of Cockney's fly in front of his face. He whimpered and desperately tried to back away, but to no avail. He was already pinned to the wall. It was no use.

Janos considered his options. It seemed he only had one, which was painfully obvious as he grudgingly stared at the growing cock in front of him. Rough hands tugged on his long brown hair, and before he could protest the guard's half hard cock was hitting the back of Janos's throat. He didn't gag, for over the past few weeks he had gotten quite good at controlling his reflex. It was not something he was proud of. The guard controlled Janos's head, moving it back and forth and fucking his face with no mercy. Janos tried to push the guard away, as his hands weren't restrained, but he was too weak. Two weeks of minimal food really didn't help his situation. All he could do was kneel there and take it, and that's what he did. What other choice did he have?  
"I bet you fucking love this, you whore," he hissed. Janos tried to shake his head.  
"I bet you beg for this when you're with Shaw, don't you?" Janos tried to say "no". "I bet you love getting used, you little slut." Janos tried to say "stop". This went on for a few minutes, and just when Janos thought he was going to suffocate, the guard's pace finally slowed. He buried his cock down Janos's throat and came, all of it running down his esophagus hot and disgusting. The guard tucked himself back into his pants and grabbed Janos up from where he lay, utterly defeated.  
"Right, you ready to comply now, bitch?"  
Janos decided that he no longer liked Cockney.  
He was half hauled up by Cockney and shoved forward and out the door. He winced with each step at the pain in his back and in other places and could still taste the semen of the guard. His bare feet were freezing, especially on the concrete floor that the hallway was made of. Janos knew the way to Shaw's private rooms in the dark and backwards, which was ironic seeing as that's how he learned - in the pitch black getting dragged down the hall, his heels burning from the concrete ripping them to shreds. The cuts were still there.  
Suddenly Janos felt very resilient. There was no way he was going to spend another day in Shaw's room, getting used and beaten just for his amusement. No, he'd rather die. Feeling a bit of strength return to him with this sudden burst of confidence, he whipped around as fast and as suddenly as he could and blasted the two escorting guards with a fast gust of wind. They hit the ground with sickening _splats_ , and Janos used this opportunity to run. He didn't know where yet, he just knew he had to run. Escape. Find a place to hide, _anything_ to evade Shaw, and if he was lucky, escape altogether.

Janos's feet took him all the way back down the hallway and to a spiral staircase to his right. It hurt like hell running so fast, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered right now other than escaping. As he climbed the stairwell, exhausted from lack of food and from his gust of wind, he paused to take a breather.  
His stomach twisted. He looked down and realized that he was still _very_ naked. _Damn!_ he thought. _Why didn't I take the guard's clothes?_  
Janos continued up the stairs, as the guards would surely be out of their daze by now and searching for him. He'd have to suck it up and deal with it. It didn't even really matter to him - he just wanted out of that place and into Azazel's arms, he wanted to see Mystique and Erik and Emma - well, he would be just fine without seeing Emma. All Janos wanted right now was to leave.  
That thought was the only thing keeping him going up those stairs. After 3 minutes of climbing he felt his strength faltering. After 5 minutes he was panting. After 10 minutes he finally gave in, and collapsed on what he didn't know was the tenth to last stair. He could see nine stairs from where he lay but he just couldn't see the tenth, the last stair that would've taken him outside.

Janos lay there, sprawled out on the steps, slowly losing consciousness. His thoughts were becoming slower and less intelligible, and after a minute had passed he was unconscious, dreaming about the end of the steps and seeing Azazel on the other side of the door. Embracing him, kissing him, holding him and never letting go.

  
  


"We found him sir."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was aiming for this to be a really smutty chapter with Sebastian but I decided against it. Hint hint: chapter fourrrr......

**Author's Note:**

> First fic - how do you guys like it so far? I will update semi regularly, but keep in mind: I do have a life. Prolly like once a week or two weeks there'll be a new chapter, but if I get one done before then I won't keep y'all waiting. Ciao.
> 
> *UPDATE* So after writing this I spent legit the next HOUR ironing out the HTML and stuff...it was so tedious. I still never figured out why the indentations stopped after the first 3 or 4 paragraphs, that was annoying. No matter what I did I couldn't get those indentations back. The struggles, right?


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